What is the proper response for someone who has lost a baby?

A co-worker was recently admitted to the hospital for illness and she ended up losing her unborn baby. I want to do something but I%26#039;m not sure what%26#039;s appropriate. We aren%26#039;t terribly close but we have always been friendly. Are flowers appropriate? What words do you use to convey you%26#039;re happy they are healthy but sorry for the loss?

What is the proper response for someone who has lost a baby?
As a parent of a baby born prematurely and who died only an hour later....





flowers are appropriate, but the tiny card w/ the person%26#039;s signature and %26quot;I%26#039;m so sorry%26quot; counted more for me...





cards are great, but skip the sappy ones... just a blank one w/ something simple. %26quot;I%26#039;m so sorry for your loss and am praying for you and your family%26quot;





as a few others have mentioned... don%26#039;t say any of the stupid %26quot;baby is in a better place, everything happens for a reason, you can still have more kids%26quot;... especially don%26#039;t ask %26quot;can you still have more kids%26quot;... they%26#039;re not replacable... the fact that I was able to have a daughter 2 years later does not do anyting to change or help the fact that I lost the first one!





Don%26#039;t mention anything about her health good or bad... just wish her all the best and that you care. She could care less about her health right now... I know I didn%26#039;t!





More importantly, don%26#039;t forget! Mother%26#039;s day is coming up later in the spring... send her an email, or just drop another blank card w/ a little personal note in it %26quot;as I was shopping for Mother%26#039;s Day, I was thinking of you. I hope you have a peaceful day.%26quot; or somethign like that.
Reply:Maybe a card and write how sorry you are for her loss. Short and sweet is nice.
Reply:Treat it like the loss of a child, none of that, it was meant to be crap and leave out %26quot;in a better place%26quot; right now she%26#039;s not thinking about that. Flowers are appropriate, stay simple, but not like a funeral bouquet either.





Ive sent a few of these unfortunately, and will usually do something simple in whites,all the same flower like orchids or callas and say on the card, We%26#039;re so sorry for your loss, our thoughts are with you. Let us know if theres anything we can do, or just to chat. Sincerely --- If you%26#039;re not friendly to chat - you can leave that out.
Reply:flowers, small basket. card saying something that you feel is right. don%26#039;t say anything about them being healthy, just mention that you are thinking of her/her family.





a good hug when she comes back, or if you visit her.
Reply:Having had 3 early micarriages and suffering the death of my newborn son, in my experience, the best thing you can say is %26quot;if you ever need to talk, I will listen%26quot;. And, be ready for her to need to talk even if it is months later. If you feel it really necessary to mention her recovery, just say you are glad she is doing better, and let it go. I think she is probably blaming herself for the loss, and reminding her that her health came at the expense of her unborn child is a hard thing to handle. Flowerd are nice, or a live plant is a nice gesture, and completely appropriate. It will help her feel like someone acknowledged her loss and grief. You are a kind person to be thinking of these things, the world needs more like you!
Reply:just be there comfort. tell them if they wanna talk about it your always here for her.
Reply:I%26#039;d just tell them that you are sorry for their loss. Earth Mama Angel Baby has a great little gift basket for someone who has lost a baby or miscarried. www.earthmamaangelbaby.com





Don%26#039;t say anything like %26quot;everything happens for a reason%26quot; or %26quot;maybe it was for the best%26quot; etc. Unless you want them to be very upset with you.
Reply:A miscarriage needs the same grief process as any death. Try to be understanding.





A touch, a hug, a very brief comment or a handwritten card will do wonders. Don%26#039;t hug unless you are close enough with her. Flowers are nice but they too die.





When she comes back to work she will have phases when she will be grieving. Try to be understanding and if appropriate, try to ease her workload for a while. If you are in a position at work where you have contact with the public, be aware that a woman who loses a child may react emotionally to the sound or sight of a small child or baby. See what you (or the office) can do to lessen that exposure for a while.
Reply:and never say, %26quot;well, you can always try again%26quot; I do agree with the others that have already giving answers, be supportive, and let them unload their pain on you
Reply:If you were my coworker I would think flowers would be appropriate or a card...but that is going beyond the call of duty.





%26quot;I am sorry for your loss. I know that I can%26#039;t understand what you are going through...but if you need anything, just let me know%26quot;





Then don%26#039;t dwell unless she wants to talk about it.





And you are a very nice co-worker to even be concerned.
Reply:some flowers and a nice card i think, its difficult to not upset the person
Reply:A bouquet of flowers would be nice. You don%26#039;t really have to say much. They know. Just a nice %26quot;You are in my thoughts and prayers%26quot; or %26quot;I%26#039;m so sorry for your loss%26quot; is all that really needs to be said.
Reply:Hi, very tough situation but whatever you do: DON%26#039;T avoid her, keep it very simple as some others said. I lost a baby 7 years ago, my company sent me a huge %26amp; beautiful bouquet of flowers, everytime I was looking at it, I was bursting to tears and couldn%26#039;t wait to put it in the bin.


Personnaly, I prefered a simple card and a nice %26amp; short talk, tell her how sorry you are to hear that... but don%26#039;t go on unless she%26#039;s willing to talk.


Also some people were just avoiding me, I thought at the time they didn%26#039;t care about what happen to me. You obviously care very much otherwise you wouldn%26#039;t ask this question.
Reply:I%26#039;d say...





%26quot;Our thoughts are with you and your family at this time of great loss.





With deepest sympathy,


Your name%26quot;



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